HOW TO HANDLE QUARREL IN MARRIAGE

 

HOW TO HANDLE QUARREL IN MARRIAGE

The best for your marriage is not to quarrel at all. But if you must quarrel, you must learn to fight fairly, please bear the following in mind:

 1. No physical combat; leave that to garage boys.

 2. No foul language.

 3. No threat of divorce or separation.

 4. No condemnation, criticism or comparison of your spouse with other people.

 5. Avoid referring to previous quarrels.

 6. Speak the truth in love without shouting.

 7. Do not reveal the secrets of your spouse to outsiders.

 8. No silence treatment. Keep on talking in love to your partner until you can resolve the issue.

 9. Self-blame system. Avoid blaming your spouse. Rather, note where you were wrong; do not be blind to your errors. No self-righteousness because it takes two to tango. Accept your mistakes humbly.

 10. Apologize generously to your spouse.

 11. Break the ice of malice.

 12. Think positively about your spouse and marriage; no thought of divorce or separation.

 13. Forgive when you are hurt.

 14. Use the auto-suggestion system. Speak positively to yourself about your spouse. You can say something like this: “David (call your name), why do you fight your wife? You have nothing to gain. Why can’t you stop quarrelling and give peace a chance and let the Holy Spirit take control in this house?” Repeating positive statements like this will release your heart from anger and bitterness and give room for easy reconciliation.

 QUARRELLING RULES

Couples should prepare adequately to handle quarrels by setting certain rules for themselves. These should be put in place when there is no quarrel and both parties should adhere to them. Some of them are:

 1. Never to go to bed unless you have settled your dispute.

 2. Never to report yourselves to third parties, except your pastor or counsellor.

 3. Never to shout or hit each other no matter what happens.

 4. To continue to eat together and sleep in the same room no matter what happens.

 5. To continue to love each other even during a crisis.

 6. To make family altar a must, no matter what happens.

 7. To always call for reconciliation when there is a dispute.

 8. To always report each other to God.

 9. To always suspend any disagreement when children or visitors are around.

 10. To do all your “battles” in your bedroom but in love.

 11. That the man will have the final say but the wife should be allowed to talk and influence the man, while the man must listen and consider the wife’s point of view.

As you adhere to these guidelines, I pray grace to enjoy your marriage rest upon you in Jesus Name.

God bless you